Queenie's dRama

There are lots of things I imagine when I feel like Queenie. I guess most of them would be considered pretty stereotypical, and maybe sort of stupid. In fact, one part of the reason I'm convinced I have such a hard time writing about wanting to be Queenie is because I think everything she wants to do is painfully typical for most women, especially in the States.

This is a dilemma because usually writers are supposed to write about things typical people can't do. Typical Men write about being James Bond. Typical women write about being Madonna, or some epic wife who lives in a castle in Florida. And don't get me wrong, Queenie has a big Madonna side to her (look at her name after all) but there's also a lot of fantasizing she does that's so purely typical and normal. For example, take something like getting her nails done or just driving to the mall to stroll around in big stores like Victoria's Secret, looking at beautiful  clothes. Or something like going to try on wigs and being able to afford them, and then actually having an entire apartment ...or HOUSE...filled with wigs and other Queenie stuff.

For instance, when I start trying to imagine having a house where you'd walk in and the first thing you'd see would be a big sparkling pink framed poster of Azealia Banks or Lil Kim, my eyes roll in the back of my head, and I lose my mind. I can't even fathom having that sort of freedom. Odds are it will never happen to me. Even if Keyshia did get hersef a house (that's one of queenies real names) I still don't think she'd have the courage to decorate it like that. It would just be a boring dull house like everyone else in this boring country has. Nothing interesting about it. Just another bland suburban home. It would probably just have all the typical decorations, because that'd be all anyone was able to afford. Keyshia would be forced to make do with whatever was selling at IKEA, that intolerable hellhole. There would be no huge gleaming oil  portrait of Monica Bellucci and Beyonce in the kitchen. There would not be a purple shining refrigerator that smelt like roses. There would not be a bowl of really good pink marijuana on the center of the kitchen table all the time. Keisha can't afford it. No one can. No one can afford anything remotely interesting....so everything must be perpetually bland. A boy can't get himself a nice pink set of kitchen chairs that all say GLIMMER QUEEN on the top. Those chairs basically don't exist yet. All we have so far, mostly, are just plain wooden ones.

Having said that though, this is what i mean about how little things have become so precious to Keyshia. She just goes gaga for the smallest stuff, the smallest little HINT of femininity in this dark and murderous United States city. This is the case whether you are talking about fashion, hair, music, or of course the house decorations. Why is everything in our current time period so obsessed with darkness, Queenie wonders? Certainly I can't be the only one who notices it. We all seem to despise and avoid bright colors. The keyboard upon which I am typing, for example, why was the standard model just automatically chosen to be colored black, with the letters all white? This color is the same for the cheap speakers I just randomly grabbed, as well as the monitor thats given me 10 years of life: Both of these things are black, just like the keyboard, and the computers I had before this, they were always white. Why? Why are the standard default computers always either white or black? Why can't they be light blue,pink, green, yellow, orange, red, azure? What is going on herer?

 We here in the early 21st century...I'll tell you: We certainly are highly technological, but so many of our designs still seem to be rather trapped, in my opinion, in the darkness of "centuries past". Don't forget: There was no electricity back then. Ben Franklin had yet to figure out the light bulb or the lightning rod, whatever he did. So when it was night time, it was dark time. In fact, I spend a lot of my own life in this new century in the dark,since the florescent lights in my room here never quite work. You won't believe me, but if you exclude the illumination of the computer monitor, I am writing solely by candlelight right now. We are, in many ways, still in a strangely dark and bland world. It shows in our clothes. I often look at people and think I am seeing Amish demons flashing by. It makes me want to cry...I get very scared...Keyshia gets particularly scared...she is mortified of the Amish. But many people today, especially men, seem to dress sort of Amish. They all wear dark pants, like the cheap dark blue Dockers I am wearing now, and usually you will never see a man in a pink shirt or a light green shirt, etc. Not in my experience,  at least, and I'll admit it almost even looks weird when you do. Maybe it's because colors require more effort to give birth to, where as "white" and "black" is easy. So it's almost like, you know, we are still unable to completely afford, as a whole society, to really color everything in. Perhaps the argument could be made that we are living in a world that is still just being sketched out. A lot has been filled in now; but another whole part of it is just still being sketched. The poor parts, for instance, they're just beginning to undestand creativity. 

Often when I, or rather, when beautiful Keyshia, imagines the future, she starts to see a place that will be filled with brght colors and also be filled with stories that include many bright colors. I always go back to Lord of the Rings, for example, or just fantasy stories in general, to help people understand this idea: In our own time, most fantasy stories are set in a medieval English sort of place, and most of the characters look just as bland -- usually--as people back then looked. They also tend to talk and act just as bland as people back then did. Gandalf is a very fantastic wizard, but he basically looks like a bland monk in those dark robes he wears, with that very plain white hair he has. It is rare to see a really colorful character in our fantasy tales, surpisingly enough. Evrey now and again you see a character who is a princess presented in some beautifully light outfit, but it doesn't really happen as often as you would think it would.

The Shire is presented as a really great place in Lord of the Rings , but it's basically just filled with natural greens, browns, whites, etc. In fact, the presence of green is probably why so many kids love it so much. Green is the brightest thing we ever chance to see in our world. Well, Keyshia's guess is that the future will become much more focused on these other more "extreme" colors, like pink, purple, blush, watermelon, bubblegum, magenta, hot pink, etc. In our own time pink, if you look at it, almost seems to be considered a "plastic" color, as though it does not have its origins in the natural world -- like green or brown-- but rather in the artificial world of the department store, etc. This is ridiculous of course: Pink is just as natural as any other color, it's just that it's very bright so the "serious soldier men" who are running everything (and ruining everything) in our own time, don't like it. In the future, I feel this prejudice will pass away. You will start to see pink getting itself taken more seriously. It will start popping up in films that are taken seriously. It will be a joyous part of our lives in a way it simply is not right now. Pink cars will be more popular, pink eyeshadow, hot pink hair, big pink earrings, pink shoes, pink grass in films, etcetc.....

When I think of who the future Gandalf character might be, in a popular fantasy film 30-40 years from now,   I can imagine, for starters, that it will be a woman, and not a man, and it will probably be a woman who might dress a bit like Keisha would want to dress...but who could still be just as powerful  & mysterious & mystical. I can imagine a woman who could show up to the little green door of Frodos home dressed in a bright pink robe or jacket, glimmering and sparkling, and holding a bright purple staff, instead of the grey one Gandalf always held. I can imagine she will have long beautiful hair, and maybe it will be designed in a curious way, not just falling over her shoulders, like Gandalfs was.I suppose The Wizard of Oz sort of got close to this at times, there's definitely something extremely queer about that story, and now I am remembering that RuPaul recently did something related to it ...but I dunno. Even the Wizard of Oz is still pretty pastoral, and in many ways, pastoral always means bland. Dorothy might wear bright red ruby slippers; but her hair is still just plain old brown, and her little dress couldn't possibly be more plain. I think Oz could be way more colorful than we have ever seen it. There should be a new sequel to Oz made, actually, where Dorothy isn't a woman, or at least she doesn't start out as once. I want to watch an adaptation of Wizard of Oz where Dorothy starts out as a big 6 foot 6 linebacker, and then after the twister tosses him into Oz and he follows the Yellow Brick Road, he turns into Queenie. At the end of the film, we see him on a bed, as a woman, with the red ruby slippers on, dressed in a hot pink skirt with hot pink eyebrows. He's opening his mouth about to accept the "pole" of the Great and Powerful wizard. The wizard of course is also revamped: It's a big colorful man, with a big magic phallus, wearing a purple cape. Maybe someone loosely based off of Prince.....

Sigh. If only it was a all real....