I was braiding my hair staring into my mirror, with the theme from the most recent Alice in Wonderland movie blasting, when I saw, from the corner of my eye, that the iPhone was ringing off the hook again. It was the same person of course, the same little pendejo, Pietro. Poor Pietro living in the middle of no where outside Turin. He had no idea what was going on. He thought it was a joke maybe. He thought I would come back.
Nope. Wasn't happening.
See, he was logged into the Game still ..just standing there in the Nektulia Mountains butt ass naked.... and he couldn't believe the way I had slaughtered his character, and then stolen everything he had on him. Literally, I looted every item he had, some of which poor Pietro has probably been working on gettin' since, who knows, 1999. Half a freaking century!
I had done it for Julius , but of course he didn't know that. He didn't know I had gotten into Julius's good graces and purposely brought his character to the Nekutlia Mountains for that reason , because there are forces there that are like kryptonite for Pietros' dark elf, and then slaughtered him with my strongest weapon, from behind his back. He had no idea it was coming. Poor Pietro in fucking Turin, man. He thought we were going to hunt the rainbow crocodiles and see the mountains and pick some boomer shrooms that they got out there. No....not at all. I was looking to use Esmeralds strongest spell,and it worked....
And now about an hour had passed -- no, sory, about 4 hours had passed -- and he was probably sittin' there wondering where the fuck I was. He definitely thought I was coming back. I could imagine him standin there in the mountains, all the wolves howling all around him (as now the black night of Nekutlias had assuredly fallen) just shivering his cold naked ass off, biting his characters fingers, wondering "Where are you!!"
He didn't realize, completely yet, what had happened: I had logged Esmeralda off the Caribbean server and then logged her, with a hack that Julius and hi sboys had made, onto the Parisian server. The Parisian server of course is significantly more occupied than the Carribean one. Pietro wouldn't be able to get on that fucking thing if he begged the Gods. I myself only got on it because now I'm one of three girls that Julius is dating. ...and the first thing Julius wanted me to do for him was, like I'm saying, this "bombing" and robbery of Pietro's character.
Do you know what I got in return for it, besides the chance to play on the best server that the Game has going for it? A lot of stuff. So much stuff that it's too hard to begin. One very important thing though was the Robe of the Netherbane, for starters.
That's a $950,000 robe , you better believe it, it's got the most insane fucking stats a necromancer robe can possibly have (Esmeralda is a necromancer) and it just meant serious business for me now. Like I would be able to hunt and raid in the Black Dungeons and everything now. I would be able to actually go out on Saturday nights, which is when the real big raids take place, and I'd be able to taste the smell of death and war, as they say, that only a night with the dwarves and the most vicious elves, in the black Dungeons, can bring. Julius would be right by my side of course the whole time too. He plays a high elf cleric who just recently became "Half wizard". He never tells anyone his exact level--not even me--but we all think he's at least 989. Much like poor Pietro who, by the way, just started ringing my iPhone again, Julius has also been playing the Game for a half century, since the year of its creation, 1999.
In fact, Julius swears that he was even around as early as 1996, playing the fucking BETA and everything. He tells these crazy myths about how he got the first copy of the Game sent to him on CD-ROM and he used to play it when it was still just on a screen and you couldn't really, y'know, "be" the toon. His stories are awesome. All the chicks love them. Myself included. Like the first night I met Julius , or at leat his character, Zenmuza, we were sitting at a massive bonfire deep inside the Mammoth Woodlands, and Zenmuza was on this humungous flaming golden throne holding this giant blue light sceptre. He was talking in his deep voice that was echoing throughout all of the woodlands, and probably about 100 different folks from all over the Game world, from all different races and magic classes et cetera, were sitting on the ground, like little Indians with their legs crossed, listening to him. It was fucking amazing. You could see right away that Zenmuza was the most powerful character in the Game....like God.... (and of course it turns out that Julius does have some particular sway with the Gods, cause he grew up, so the legend says, near the building in which the Game first got coded)....
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