The Heterosexual Marriage Poem

If I walked all around town with a big old knife
I bet Rebecca woulda gladly been my wife
If I screamed and yelled, and said “you're a dirty bitch!”
Rebecca woulda said “I'll make you feel rich”
If I threatened and spat, and wove a web of hate and misery
Rebecca woulda said “I wish that man would marry me!”
But instead I was nice, and gentle and kind
So for me this woman did not have any time
I tried my best, to be sweet and polite
And now I have no Rebecca in my life
Yet I can't help but think , if ever again I try
To woo a woman, I'll surely tell mean lies
I won't be kind , I won't be gentle no more
I'll treat the woman like she's naught but a whore
And then I'm sure it'll happen quick
A guaranteed wife who can make me sick
I'll be like all the other men in this dead end town
Me an my wife, and our permanent frowns.