Abrupt Journals

Back watching Westworld a bit again. I'm not sure what to make of it this time around. I like the way they are mixing so many different worlds together -- but the show also seems to be pretty slow paced, and nothing like any of the other HBO shows I have watched (and I've watched quite a few of them). The main problem is that it doesn't seem to stick with the same characters, like my favorite HBO show Rome or Deadwood did. Instead it keeps flipping around and no one really sticks in my mind. I'm assuming it is doing this thanks to Game of Thrones. I don't know. I'm not sure i like it. Oh well.

I haven't really had any good ideas for anything of my own lately. Sometimes i just dry out and my brain rots and nothing happens. I'm not sure why. Usually it just lasts 2-3 days, and then the lights turn on again. Maybe its a symptom of depression. I don't know. I will say that I don't feel physically perfect as of late. Allergies cloud up my mind and, as i always write, no money to fix them, thanks to this wondrous system of greed i have to live under. I might as well be living back in the 1300s, the way these assholes have organized this all. Medicine in America baby...it's ONLY FOR THE RICH!

Ah, how I dream of this country collapsing completely. What will it really matter to me? I've got nothing in it besides this laptop and some books anyways. I'd love to watch the glorious rich Americans starving, all of their money suddenly worthless just like the German money was, back in WW2. You know I always say that Hitler didn't really start that war? He just got blamed. The real people who started it were the angry working class Germans. The lower class! We eventually get so badly robbed that, with no options left, we decide to start a good war and burn the entire country down. Mostly cause it opens up a window of time when lawlessness is again in vogue, and we get to kill all the richies .... FUN FUN!

Maybe that'll happen soon in the States, if Trump keeps doing whatever he's doing. I can imagine legions of dirty poors climibing up outta sewers ....feces everywhere...every skyscraper in NYC just crumbling... Wall Street never recovers again...the US dollar is used, like the German dollar, to start bonfires in the forest, to keep warm...ahahaha....

Sad how thats what i start thnking when i stat wishing i could get some medicine for my allergies huH? Republicans == the biggest plagues on humanity. Ever.

In other news, last night I was doing some great reading on the never ending expansion of the Universe. Also i was reading a bit about the Multi-verse. Fascinating, really interesting stuff. I never knew, for example, that one day, eventully, every single star in our Universe will eventually die. The whole UNiverse will literally go completely dark. It's mortifying! I've known for awhile now, for instance, that the Sun will eventually die -- but i never knew all the other stars would too. It'll take billions of years, so they say -- but what if it happens tomorrow? Or what if it happens when I die? It turns out i'm the entire universe, and when I die, so do all the rest of you. I'll admit i'm disturbed by this thought, if only because I like thinking that other humans will read all this shit I've written. Now I'm giving myself anxiety and my hands are getting clammy. I hate thinking these deep thoughts. I wish i was simple! S I M P L E!

I should start playing EverQuest again, but last time I tried i got bored vry fast. Might have killed the game in the Post-Jennifer freak out months of February and March. Might have to literally wait years to play it again and...well, by that point, no one will be on it anymore. Still i find myself sometimes dreaming of a run through some zone I've not seen yet. I still want to kill me some dragons and, I was level 42 ...so i was getting closer. I forget which level was maxiumum in P99. :runs search: Ah, ok, yea, it's 60. Well, I think the dungeons that have the dragons in them start at 50, so I'm close, especially cus I'm a cleric. I might have to go back. I'm almost scared to do it. But...then i start to have that weird thought... that if i get to level 60 in EQ i'll... get sucked into the game ....

Bah humbug. How i wish i had some lover in my bed that i could jump on and fuck. Also how i wish i had a bottle of wine on hand right now. Freakin' wine. Or rum! Ah like a proper pirate out at sea, me and my lover, looking out on the horizon. Wouldn't it be nice? Singing some good songs like "Yo Ho Ho" or "Lowlands". If only life had been so kind to me. She was not. She was/is/continues to be cruel. Now I want to go lay down because my head hurts =(.

Ciao.