Goodbye texts

You wouldn’t treat a good girlfriend like this. So why me? It’s because I am to be adjudged by you as harshly as my vicious brothers. Just like the government, too, would throw me in w/ them, even with violent lunatic rapists, for any even remote crime. It’s unfair punishment. Just like it was for my cousin who couldn’t lift a 30 pound weight, and had never hurt a fly, and was thrown to animals like it was fair... nah...this is unfair punishment, you’re abusing me just because I’m a boy, I swear to God. It’s all just because I *happened* to know your boyfriend, and be from the same neighborhood as him. You’re going to one day understand the pain that boys feel too, cause you went and had sons. You gave birth to sons. And you’re going to see it’s not worse, but it’s surely just as bad as your female pain. Right now, somehow, you don’t see it. I believe you are punishing me, thinking I don’t feel it, and the worse part is ... now, because I couldn’t control my emotions, and I kept asking, never imagining you’d hold me locked in this cell for so long .....what now, I wonder, will the reunion even be? It’s as though you drove the knife too deep, Francesca. What if I can never heal fromthis now? From what you have done to me?

Here’s the run down of it: I thought we were friends, and you betrayed me w/ a knife, a massive knife, in my back. You are an abuser. Sure as hell you are. And...I’m just so fucking sad, because I want to see my friend so fucking bad and I feel like SHIT! Yet here we are, you just ignore me. All the messages I’m sending will turn green again, because you’ll just ignore me. This is now the routine. Always the routine. You are gradually getting more and more tired of me, the more impassioned and confused I get, in regards to your refusal to come get me, just a single time. I think we are ... honeslty..I Think we are about to break apart. It’s so sad. It’s so fucking dementedly sad. Alas, it was your choice, Francesca. I simply cannot survive like this anymore. I cannot think straight. I feel like I’m not even human anymore. I don’t understand why you won’t come get me...but you still, daily, talk to me. It’s time you make a decision. Either you come get me, or just stop talking to me. It really fuckin hurts me to say that but I need to, I really need to, for my own mental health. Literally, Francesca. I cannot do this anymore. I’m so sorry, I stayed strong for awhile, but I can’t do it anymore, Francesca. You either have to let me see you again in reality, or just disconnect from me. I’ll be better ... so much better...that way. I am truthfully so sorry Francesca and I wish so bad it was and could be another way, but I don’t feel well anymore honey. I’m ready for your response now. Whichever way it goes I am ready...

You just don’t understand. I’m in so much pain. I just feel like I Want to honestly cry around the clock. And then of course I want to call you, desperately, but I know I can’t. My whole night now has been destroyed because you just logged off. I feel like now what else can I do? I almost just want to give myself over to, like, some seriously abusive person. Hopefully..mybe..who knows..hopefully they’ll kill me? Because, what the hell, I’m so fucking depressing and I’m so confused over why the one girl I Thought was just a regular firend, turned our relationoship into such shit. Honestly, you know what, maybe tonight I’ll just hang myself. I seem to sorta be teetering “on the deep edge” tonight. Wandering out in the abyss. Alone and scared. I just don’t understand how someone could do this to someone else.You wanted to make me mad, didn’t you? To press my patience absolutey as far as it could go. You wanted to see me snap... to prove to yourself that all men are eventually the same, when they are low. TO prove that all men are like your evil ex’s that you hate. But, the difference between me and your ex’s is , I Won’t take the sadness or the rage out on you. I’ll take it out on myself. I’ll just hang my own self. Fucking shit. Fucking CHrist. I’m so sorry Francesca....

I just want us to say goodbye to each other. Just come back and let’s say goodbye. I will honestly feel so much better. The pain will be gone. I don’t want you to come get me anymore, you went too far now, you ruined it Francesca. I just want you to wish me good luck and goodbye and I’m gonna do the same for you. Then we are going to go our seperate ways. No more randomly cutting contact shit, I just want CLOSURE. Ok? So ...when you wake up in the morning you’re gonna see all these f’n messages, and I swear....I swear I’m gonna hold to this. This is, for real, this is what I Want now. I’m gonna be better now. I already feel better. I just need you to say a proper goodbye. That’s all I want. That’s all I’m begging for now. I’m just begging that you will type me that one word: Goodbye. It’s gonna feel so good to me, Jesus Christ, it’s gonna feel so good to me. It’s OK to type goodbye to me now, honey. I ain’t gonna be angry. I’m gonna be happy. I’m gonna be so happy. I need the real closure is all. Of course I’ll miss you deeply Francesca, but unfortunately I’m not strong enough for whatever “texting only” friendship/relationship you were trying to create. It’s time now..time you let me go in every way. For some of us it’s important to get closure and a goodbye. Since you and I weren’t really on bad terms, I’ll appreciate it deeply from you. Please Francesca. Just type it. That one word. For me. Please.

Just type goodbye.