I sure wish I could bring my doggie with me on these long treks i make, cus i honestly feel like I'm missing an arm walking without her, but sadly the doggie doesn't like the rain and she's also too old for that sort of distance. I love my doggie but shoot, sure wish I had one that could walk with me wherever, mostly cause I feel I would walk far, far more often if I could. I can't explain but you feel a lot stronger when you're walking with a doggie. You're not alone i suppose. The doggie can't talk to ya but man it really makes a big difference and you sorta see the World thru their eyes. Who needs some annoying wife, or husband, when you can have a doggie? Honestly.
Lately i've been promising to myself that i won't leave character as I write (I'm trying to remain as someone named Natalie around the clock now) but i never manage to make it and I'm always out of character again. I am also wondering why i have not written any fantasy plots in so long. Its really kind of strange.
Last summer and even thru the winter fantasy was all i wanted to write. Now i keep trying to start stories about magic dwarves or something and i get nothing at all. Shame, shame, shame. I totally hate the way my bizarre inspiration process works. It just doesn't make any sense.... nothing i write ever makes any SENSE!!!! No im just kidding. Sometimes it does. For example, the story about "Natalie" makes a fair amount of sense and I am enjoying writng it. It seems like it might wind up being another successfully told tale in the same vein as the Franny story. I started the Franny story on a whim one day never planning to finish it. I wrote for so long on it! And it seems the same thing might happen with Natalie's story. I guess this is how i know i have more of a feminine soul, huh? Stories of men always die for me, and get boring. But stories of women finding men they love, or hate, or love to hate, and it all gets different.
My basic theory on it is that, in so many ways, it feels like it's all already been done for the boys. Nothing feels risque anymore. AT least to me. For example, a story about a husband who skips town on his family and abandons his kids, to be a rock and roll star ... we've all heard that 10 million times. Obviously it would still be exciting for most random guys---but a character in a novel is different. And when it comes to women, even women inside books, topics like that don't just feel a bit risque---they almost feel wildly risque... and this is precisely why writing Natalie's story is so bloody fun. In fact even the Colombian girl said it to me right away, when i told her the plot ." I've never heard of anyone writing something like this about girls...im interested..."
I'm not sure what Natalie's ending will be. Last night a new and fun character was introduced, a lady a bit older than her, calld Alannah. She is a free spirit, not married, lives in Maryland somewhere, but was born in Louisiana. A southern Cajun girl! My favorite, sugar!
Sure do wish I had a group of girls to hang out with and be a ..... no no no no erase erase. I don't wish that at all. Do i? Depends. I'm definitely dried out on single mothers like dumb Jen, so i don't want any female friends like that again ---b ut if i could find some free spirit girls, like Alannah, maybe my life would improve significantly. If they weren't dating enormous assholes, it might not be so bad. I can handle some negative stories here and there; it's just that Jen's story was 100% negative. Even girls are annoyed by her story. Thats how you know it's total mierda if you ask me. I honestly can't imagine her making other friends especially if they're moms. But why am I talking about Jen? And why am I still calling her Jen? Remember I told myself I was gonna start calling her Birdie? Ohhh Birdie. Hey maybe Birdie can be a version of Jen that succeeds and escapes the baby daddy! That could be a new story to start alongside this Natalie one. OR I could even insert Birdie into the Natalie story. Oh who would she be? She could be a single mom who abandoned both her kids and fled for Florida! That's where Natalie will meet her. Or maybe Texas, cause I'm thinking i might re-locate this tale to Texas soon enough. Birdie will be a hot Texas cowgirl from some little town. Huge tits. Porn star lips. Anna Nicole Smith basically, but probably a lot smarter....Ya Birdie will basically be who i always wanted Jen to be for me but who she never managed to become. A fag hag, someone with an open mind, someone PROUD to fly the rainbow flag, soneone who isn't afraid to dance,and someone who actually knows how to stand up to asshole men. Now that is someone to be proud of and write about....
Signing off for now tho cus a Queen is starving soooo bad. -- Ciao honeys
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