Tech

So many people say they want to go to the past. Sometimes I myself say it, and certainly think it. Ultimately, however, I can't really fathom going into the past...not even so much as just a year into the past, to be honest. For me, the only real option is the future. I cannot even begin to tell you how tired I am of the present.

Why? It's no fault of my own, dear reader. None at all. It's all the fault of technology. You see, a few years back i realized something very bad about myself and my personality: I am dreadfully impatient , and this impatience of mine most definitely applies to how i feel about the future. I'm not at all eager to personally grow old; but i am desperately eager for this World to get a little older, and a little wiser.   HOw often is it, for instance, that one meets a person who drones on and on about how "incredible" all the modern technology, of the year 2018, really is? It is constant. Alas, I must tell you, i cannot stand these people. To me, the tech of 2018 is radically behind my expectations. Text messaging, YouTUbe videos, video games inside a screen, I'm sick to death of all of it. I can imagine such better technology. Infinitely superior technology. This stuff of the early 21st century just ain't cutting it. Not at all!

I don't really know quite when the boredom began to form,but i think it begin after years of aging myself, and also seeing how slow all the daily technology was to change. When I was a kid, reading about the decades made it seem like technology changed very fast --if not extremely fast--and all the idiot folks here in town did nothing but add to this idea. On and on did they drone, about how rapidly technology had evolved and altered in their lifetime. So naturally, when i was 15, I imagined that, within 10 years time,all the tech would be ...radically different. Yet the truth is that most of this stuff hasn't changed all that much since I was 15.

 Sure, video chatting didn't exist back then, and neither did Youtube (it would be about 3 years), but...still...instant messenging existed, and we downloaded videos and watched them to our lonesome, all the same. And by the time video chatting arrived, i've got to admit, it doesn't really seem all that impressive anyways. In fact, I am so beyond disappointed with video chatting that, when I try to do it, thats often when I distinctly remember how behind it feels to me. The connection feels horrible every time, and the picture all sorts of blurry. It's 2018. How have these people not figured this out yet? I want cheap glasses i can put on, and feel like I'm in the room with the random people I meet online. What in hell are these inventors waiting for? It's been over 10 years since i was a 15 year old dreamer. An entire decade and more has passed. Imagine going from 1980 to 1994 and feeling like the tech was stil the same. In retrospect, doesn't it seem like 1980 to 93 was such a huge leap? To me it does. But maybe in reality it wasn't. Maybe the truth is that the tech develops in such tiny increments that, just like a kid growing in your own house, you never see how far it's come, until years and years later.

Am I grateful for what tech i have? Yes, don't think I'm not. Believe me, when i was 15, the hope that I would be able to one day get into touch with pretty girls, thru the Net, was certainly a very real one, and it has indeed come true (pretty girls were not on the net when i was 15) but , again, I still can't help but yearn, always, for far more. Take, for example, something that seems to impress many people: the Snapchat filter. Why has this rotten thing not advanced rapidly since it was created, however many years ago? Why am I not able to put on a completely pretend and real looking outfit, with the snapchat filter? Why am I not able to apply the same filter to my Skype webcam? Why am I Not able to have a pretend background when I am using my Skype webcam? For example, every time I talk on Skype, I want it to appear as though I am wearing a magic pongee suit, with a shimmering golden bandana, and behind me I want it to seem like I'm in some coffeeshop in Rome, the Colissuem in the window. Can one of these rotten tech innovators explain to me why this is not yet happening? I'm not joking when i write that i can't believe this sort of tech isn't available yet. The moment my 18 year old sister showed me the Snapchat filter, i said "i want more".

I don't know. I feel the urge to go and use the bathroom now; I Have to drop a number 2, or as we say here in working class parlance, "drop a bomb". And I can't lie: a part of me is wondering when the technology to help me evade even doing a number 2, will be invented. Like, can't there be a pill or something?