Boromir is definitely a Republican voter.... from a swing state. He can never quite make his mind up. Deep down he knows he really ough to vote Democrat, and in the elections where it didn't really count, he did, but then when he knows its going to really make a difference, his hand always "magically" and "accidentally" flips that lever Republican.
In other words, he's a traitor to the barrio and the "people" in the end, but we still bury him with respect, and after hes dead we pretend and make up lies and speak of him as though he was a good guy, even though he almost destroyed everything in Middle Earth. Yea, he was definitely a Republican from Wisconsin or something.
Meanwhile that evil king -- remember the one who looked ike he was all doped out? I think his name was Theoden?? -- that guy was definitely a deep south Republican voter from like Tennessee or something. Its actually almost ridiculous how ripe the parallels are.
In the end of course he became sort of good after he was healed. Sadly in our own world we have yet to see that happen. Right now our Deep south Theoden is, like, beyond doped out on all sorts of shit his evil little helper juices him up on. They are currently fighting a war on magic leaves, for example, that come from one kingdom over. Magic leaves that King Theoden of Tennessee uses himself constantly, to the point of overdose and paralyzation, but that he doesnt even want to contemplate for a second, allowing his people to use.
I think Theodens evil little helper is the little keebler elf from Alabama, Jefferson Sessions. He runs off skipping in his little pink Alabama princess skirt to go and get the magic leaves for King Theoden, then he licks his chest and masturbates rapidly as he feeds them to him. They call him some little super feminine elf name there, like Layla or something. She talks with a super huge , but sort of cute and seductive, Republican lisp. And she says shit like this to Theoden constantly, whispering in his old hairy white ear:
"I'm so gay Theoden, I'm so so painfully gay, just like all the deep south is, and I wish so bad that I could learn how to use a computer so we could actually, like, read like liberals can read, and then figure out how to fix everything in these boonies of Rohan....but, sadly Im just a hick ...and I cant read or even write letters..... so let sjust keep ruining everything for everybody and voting Republican....oh by the way have you seen Paulie Ryans penis lately? We just circumcised it the other day with some random elf sword...oh man, its so small ..."
Yea. Dont smoke marijuaan kids. Might make you have ideas underneath random LOTR videos.
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