These are a few images I made quite some time ago that, I  suppose, if I was so inclined, we could call 'visual art" of mine. I often like to create an alternatie female and/or effeminate self when I create Art (I have written rather in depth about this, even on already previously deleted blogs) and that is basically what you are seeing here. In life I am not so much a cross dresser (too expensive and I am too lazy and cheap) but, on the 'page', or in Adobe Photoshop, where nothing really costs a dime, I become the ultimate cross dresser of all time.....

I will be honest and tell you that I think "cross dressing" and becoming a female, even if only in artistic style photographs, is one of the most entertaining activities that I have ever found in all of my life. There is a part of me that thinks the amount of fun I have with it may very well be a sign that I actually am, in fact, a transgendered individual or a "woman in my heart", but I don't ...  I dunno, I don't really tend to believe that.

For the most part I think I am just fine being a man (I especially seem to have a lot of wise old man fantasies) but, at the same time as that, it is completely undeniable that I enjoy the art of the costune and the switch, and so I think that is where my fascination comes from. As a visitor of my blog can perhaps discern from previous posts, where I discuss computer games like Everquest and Dungeons and Dragons, I have always been an enormous fan of acting and roleplaying, and I personally believe that this is where my love for the femme self comes from. I have said it and said it and said it again to people in my life who are 'perplexed'; For me, becoming the female is almost like the ultimate role to take on, since it is so unbelievably far from me and my own reality. 

This is especially the case when you are talking about those really over the top females that even other females tend to get a little disturbed by, i.e. porn stars or Playboy models or Hooter's girls etc. I know it might sound ridiculous, and I suppose for most people it's even a bit shameful, but for me I tend to ind that my most captivating female fantasies -- the deepest and most enjoyable ones -- actually tend to almost completely revolve around that sort of really deep and "ultra feminine" slip.

 It is embarrassing I suppose and sometimes I tend to look at it like a sort of drug: I do think a part of me wishes I could stop, because I know that polite society considers the fantasy of, say, being a Hooters girl or a big bosomed Playboy model so disgusting, especially since I'm having it as a man, but I don't really ... again I don't know...to me it is so enjoyable and pleasurable that I just can't be bothered letting it go, I guess. And so day by day and night by night I allow myself to trip and slip off into it for hours worth of , yes, both masturbatory and even literary fun. 

The book cover I have here, for instance, with the title Sleeping Kim by "Jack Bell", is a  rather non-linear adventure story that generally tends to deal almost solely with a character named Kimberly Bonney, who is a sort of ultra "slut" whilst at the same time being a sort of John Wayne\ Wild West gunslinger. In December 2016 I experienced a pretty successful month writing almost nonstop about her, and then in January she disappeared. She popped up again in February but I haven't seen her since then. My stories tend to come rather haphazardly , I am beginning to notice, in the same way, actually, that my feminine sex drive and desire to cross dress comes: One week I will be able to do nothing other than write and read; and then the next week, it is like I have no brain again, and all I want to do is salivate and drink Coronas and watch old clips of Family Guy.....

I am getting off topic now however and already I just want to wind out and slip into a Family Guy episode. Or maybe something of Courtney Stodden now that I think about it. Yesterday I was showing a good text messaging friend of mine a picture of Courtney at the grave of Marilyn Monroe in a beautiful white dress that I found fascinating..... ......