Interracial tales

I find the fear for interracial relationships very sad, and I am shocked that it is still ongoing, but sometimes it seems like it will never end. I will admit upfront here that, in truth, I believe I am more interested - personally - in interracial relationships, than I am in "normal" ones. I almost even, to a degree, can't fathom why anyone would be interested in a normal relationship. I basically just think they tend to be more likely to happen, and nothing more. This means to say that, if given the chance, I tend to believe most people would pursue an interracial relationship , over a normal one. The issue is that most people aren't given the chance. Especially if they live somewhere way out of the way and alll....

Of couse, interracial relationships is perhaps sort of a bad term to use for what my real interest is, because I am not solely interested in going out of my race, so much as I am in just going somewhere different. Different can mean anything, really, but usually it means something pretty distant. For example, I typically hate the idea of marriage with a woman ... but then, if you told me some Italian girl, or Norwegian girl -- who was actually from the European Union - wanted to marry me, I bet I would suddenly be a whole lot more interested, than I ever would be, for an American. For an American girl I have no interest in marriage. I would have to be slowly convinced. It would take a lot of time. I would think rationally. With an Italian or a Norwegian, who would offer me citizenship to the EU by way of marriage, I would not think rationally. When I was briefly in Italy in the summer of 2014, I actually proposed to a woman there, age 25 or so. Right in the middle of DaVinci's Florence. As you can guess, she turned me down. But she almost didn't. Her name was Flavia; she still writes me sometimes on WhatsApp. She gave me a ring, too, during a night in Pisa. I was perhaps too honest with Flavia about my real intentions: "I just never want to return to AMerica, so if you married me...I could stay, and I'll do whatever you want for you."

Needless to say, I have nver really proposed seriously to any Americans. I just don't have it in me. In fact, not only does my entire marriage desire change dramatically, once I am focused on the homeland here, but so too does my sexuality. Oh yes. I won't lie! My sexuality in the States seems, oddly enough, to actually skew queer, in a war it never would in Italy or Norway. And one part of the reason for this, I am convinced, is because in the US, there exists this big interracial game. Having sex with black men here, who fit this wild stereotype of being enormous and all that, is simply, in my opinion, too tantalizing and "rebellios" of a sexual option to pass up. I'm not looking to marry a man, but .. in terms of sex? Stateside? Interracial sex specifically? Wearing a skirt and eyeliner and sucking black dick?

 I seriously think it's one of the only fun things this country has going for it. In truth, its sort of ironic: It could easiyl be said that the USA is such a fastidious and dysfunctional country because of its multiculturalism and i's clear to see liberalism does not work -- and is vehemently opposed by Americans -- because America is multicultural. Multiculturalism, I am not ashamed to admit, brings a lot of pain to the people. But it also brings a lot of god damn good sex, too. I mean, don't the two sorta go hand in hand? Pain and good sex. It's always sort of a close line....

Years ago when I was a kid, I didn't really fully understand the joy of dating anyone different than me though. If anything, I used to sort of purposely look for someone similar, a girl who was Italo-Americano just liek me. But then as the Internet got faster, and I Was able to be put into contact with different folks, I started to see just how interesting it was to hook up with people who are different. Ever since then, I became interested in dating interacially. I just think it's ironic of course that my iniial desire to find an Italian from Italy was what wound up leading to a desire that then started to revolve around finding a black man in the States. But again, the two are connected: They're both sort of exotic. In fact, the truth is, I basically relate culturally more to the black man, than I do the Italian from Florence. She speaks a different language after all. She has never listened to all the Nas albums. I have. And its hard for me to know, sometimes, just who I want more these days. The fantasies tend to coincide. I can imagine being a black mans little Italian girl, for instance, pretty easily. I know a lot of recipes. I'd love to cook. Then I can whisper in his ear at night, as I jerk his big dick, in Italian. "Mi piace te bello..mi piace te moltissimo.." 

But alas! I get ahead of myself, and then I always remember that terrible fact , often forgotten in my fantasies: Interracial relationships, in 2017, are somehow still basically "illegal", in many regards. Many, many regards. If you don't think they are, then try to start writing about them, and see how awkward you'll start to feel. Try to start being truly public about them, see how you'll feel. People really don't dig these relationships. They exist, just like blacks themselves do in the US, in a sort of ghetto. This becomes immediately obvious the moment you try to find interracial media, and you see that next to none exists . Besides porn of course. White women fuck black men, joyously and triumphantly, all the time in porn. But what about regular, above ground media?

It is like it doesn't exist. There are hardly any films that feature a black and white couple, especially as the main characters or plot point of the film. There are certainly hardly any mainstream sex scenes that happen interracially (except the recent Jessica Jones that did it). And ... who knows...it just seems like something that is shockingly more controversial than many might totally realize. On dating apps like OkCUpid, for instance, they have discovered that white men are significantly more likely to get a response than black men. Black women , it seems, on Cupid, hardly get any love at all. For me, this is preposterous: the entire reason I love using Cupid so much, is to find someone different than me. So why not others? Why am I all alone? Why aren't there 6 different Hollywood films I can watch about white women who are not just married to black men---but determined to marry one?

Well, it's as I said before: It's the same reason I can't find movies about American men who , like my former self, are obsessed with trying to marry someone from the EU, to escape America, and find a different life. These are quite literally interpreted as "traitor tales", and we don't much dig them, collectively speaking. Instead of seeing the person who wants to date outside the comfort zone, as a hero, which is important for a film (film loves heroes) it seems society sees them as a lunatic, or a loser, or someone probably a bit dysfunctional. They aren't so far off the mark , either: Many people, in our own time, who want to do things like marry into another country, or fuck black men because daddy hates them, usually are pretty troubled. They aren't heroic in the "traditional sense". But they are still heroic to me. They are still brave....

Don't get me wrong: There certainly are some films about white women dating black men, like Jungle Fever from the 90s, but most of them are only ever willing to go so far in terms of "offensive" material.

I should like to change this in my lifetime here as a writer, but sometimes I'm not so sure it is possible, and I get shy. I want to eventually be published one day, I always say, and honestly, writing about interracial relationships the way I Would like to, just doesn't seem like something publishable, in this current time. I would have to make it all much more complex, for example, than I should like it to be. I should also probably have to make it end, tragically, which breaks my heart. Last but not least, I could never make it a true "fantasy" in the way, I'll admit, that I sometimes should like. For example, in the movie Warcraft, a fantasy I was just watching, there was a green skinned orc woman taken as a slave by a group of white men with swords. No one sees it as problematic. Now, imagine if I tried to do this with a story about black men and a white woman? And then imagine if I did something like, say, have the black men cast spells on the white woman, so that she did not resist her enslavement? She just became a ....

I shan't go any further. It's too controversial, Like I say. People would snap and flip out and maybe I'd even be hanged by the Klan in old Kaintuck. It's still pretty fun...and certainly sexy...to imagine though. I mean, shit, if that movie existed, imagine how many white women would walk out of the theater and ......

Again I almost get inappropriate. I must censor myself for the sake of the American Empire. My apologies ----

Becky Jean